miércoles, 4 de abril de 2012

Falta de inspiración IV




SEBASTIAN: Por ejemplo, yo cuando escucho la escena de la carta, me vienen unas ganas locas de escribir…
HARALD: Sí, pero te ponés, y no te sale escribir nada.
BENEDIKT: Escriban escenas “keine Methode”…
HARALD: ¿Sin método?
BENEDIKT: ¡Claro! Por ejemplo, ustedes escuchan a la soprano esta cantar la escena de la carta, y escriben cosas sueltas, lo que se les viene a la mente (pausa) Por ejemplo, a vos, Sebastián, ¿qué se te viene a la mente cuando escuchás esto? ¡Ahora mismo!
SEBASTIAN: Un empapelado con florcitas.
BENEDIKT: Bien, ¿Y a vos, Harald?
HARALD: Me imagino a mí mismo cantando Tatiana en el Bolshoi…
BENEDIKT: Tres bien! ¡Ahora tenemos algo!
HARALD: ¿Qué tenemos?
BENEDIKT: Tenemos un empapelado con florcitas, y a Harald travesti en Rusia…
HARALD: (dubitativo) No sé, es medio raro…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y yo qué pito toco?
BENEDIKT: Vos podés tocar el piano (silencio) Eureka!
HARALD: ¿Cómo?
BENEDIKT: El escenario es el siguiente, salita de un departamento decimonónico en Moscú, con muebles viejos, alfombras y cortinas raídas…
HARALD: Y candelabros de fantasía…
BENEDIKT: ¡Eso! También hay candelabros de fantasía…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y qué más?
BENEDIKT: En el centro de la escena, un piano alemán, un poco viejo…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y?
BENEDIKT: En la pared, detrás del piano, hay un retrato de la bisabuela, que es de la época de Catalina, la grande…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y?
HARALD: ¡También hay un samovar!
BENEDIKT: ¡Sí! También hay un samovar…
HARALD: Y tacitas de loza inglesa…
BENEDIKT: Hay todo eso…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y?
BENEDIKT: Y vos tocás el piano… Y vos, Harald, estás vestido de mujer, a la usanza de la década de 1880, cantando la escena de la carta, con acento polaco…
HARALD: ¿Por qué con acento polaco?
BENEDIKT: Porque la soprano que está cantando ahora es polaca… En la escena de ustedes, la cantante puede ser polaca, y llamarse, mmm, ¿cómo puede llamarse una polaca?
SEBASTIAN: Barbara.
BENEDIKT: ¡Eso mismo! La cantante se llama Barbara, y es polaca, y el pianista, que sos vos, Sebastián, es ruso, judío, se llama Emmanuil, Emmanuil Miller, Emmanuil Gavrilochich Miller, y tienen que preparar el rol de Tatiana para que Barbara lo cante en el Bolshoi…
SEBASTIAN: ¿Y?
BENEDIKT: Bueno, ahora, con todo esto, escriban la primera escena, y después la obra…
SEBASTIAN: No me gusta.
BENEDIKT: ¿Por qué no te gusta?
SEBASTIAN: ¿Cómo va a ser Harald, la soprano que hace de Tatiana en el Bolshoi en el siglo diecinueve?
BENEDIKT: Bueno, es novedoso…
SEBASTIAN: ¡Es una porquería!
BENEDIKT: ¿A vos qué te parece, Harald?
HARALD: Es raro, no queda muy bien que yo haga de cantante polaca del siglo diecinueve, mejor sería un contratenor del siglo veintiuno…
SEBASTIAN: La verdad es que no sabemos qué carajo escribir, y lo de las escenas “keine Methode” es una pelotudez…

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